My Qualified Report on Men

When I was a little boy I had a really hard time refraining from being a jerk. I mean, it was a natural reaction, you know? Boys are programmed to constantly do stupid things that go against all reason. It wasn't even my fault that I kept hurting other people, it was my parents fault for creating a boy instead of a girl. It's a masculine instinct to act before thinking and to not consider consequences. All men who think before they act were trained over years and years to operate in that manner. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of work to fight against manly nature. I know this because I have experienced it first hand.

I always envied girls and their ability to be naturally better people. Like all the other boys, I secretly wished that I could have been born a girl. What a life that could have been.

As a man, I know what boys must go through in order to become the people we were meant to be. I know it's hard, guys, but it's the right thing to do. I can feel your pain because I've been there. And believe me, it doesn't matter what you're thinking or feeling now. You have to fight it, everyday. We can become better people. We can be just as good as girls if we try.

On behalf of all guys, I apologize for being despicable human beings. I know we've let the world down and that jerks like us are the reason for world hunger and poverty. I urge you, men, to put yourselves down constantly and consider yourself less than others as you strive to be as good as a woman.

This is all, of course, completely invalid, seeing as I am a girl, who grew up with only sisters, and didn't speak to boys that I wasn't related to until I was like 10. I have no first hand experience with growing up as a male and the different joys and challenges that may bring. Although I've heard about boys, seen boys, known boys, been friends with boys, and been nurtured by my father and my grandfather, I have no authority to speak on what it may be like to be a boy. I'm sure that boys who read this will feel misrepresented and possibly offended by the words I have used to generalize their gender. What a shame.

The sole purpose of this picture was to get you to click on the link. Thanks, Zac.

There are so many topics and issues that people feel qualified to speak on and that is exceptionally unfortunate. We all have the freedom of speech and the right to say what we want. However, just because you can speak doesn't mean you always should speak.

I think that everyone should share their thoughts and insights because everyone sees the world through their own lens. By comparing and discussing views, we all become more educated. Everyone should feel encouraged to share their stories and life lessons and perspectives. For example, I can feel confident sharing my thoughts and experiences with depression because that is something I have dealt with in my own life. My friends could share what it was like to have a friend experience depression, but not necessarily what it is like to actually have depression. I can share what it was like growing up in the 90's, because I did. My parent's could share what it was like raising kids in the 90's, but would not have authority to speak on what it was like being a child in the 90's. My sister could share what it is like to live with a severely allergy to wheat, because that is something she personally deals with. I could share what it is like to have a sister who struggles with severe food allergies, but I cannot talk with full authority on what having a severe food allergy is like. Ya feel me?

If you listen to me talk about the personal experiences I have to share, and I listen to you talk about the personal experiences you have to share, then we both gain the knowledge of a personal experience. If I project something onto your experience that is not true, I'm an idiot and you're offended and possibly even hurt. So, in an effort to (a) not be idiots and (b) not hurt others, let's not try and be experts on things that we don't actually know about, folks.

You are a font of information. Just not on everything.